How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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