The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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