I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
