yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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