I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
