Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's just like the Real World with babies
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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