So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
