I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
