How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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