he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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