I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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