They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You ate ashes out of my bong
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