glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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