i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
