So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
