the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
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