My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
