he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
