did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
