Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
