Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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