i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
