Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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