No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
