Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
