Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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