Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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