I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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