Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dear god my vagina.
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