Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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