You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
