I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
