Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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