we made out on top of his cat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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