my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
