Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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