it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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