Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
