you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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