Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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