LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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