we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
