i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
