she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize