Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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