Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
