We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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