bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
