So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
