i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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