i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you would pick up someone in the library
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
