At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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