Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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