HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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