He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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