I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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