I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
