I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
