I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
