How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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